What President Started Medicare?

What President Started Medicare?

A: Dwight Eisenhower.

Q: What is the difference between a welfare recipient and a trojan?

A: One is a fraud and the other is a condom.

Q: Did you hear about the bum who robbed a bank with a gun, took most of the money, left his pants, and ran?

A: The cops have his number.

Q: What does a woman and a 747 have in common?

A: They both have a black box.

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

A: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.

Q: How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say the F word?

A: Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell "BINGO!"

Q: Why did God create Democrats?

A: So Republicans can have someone to pray for.

Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

A: You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Q: What does Al Gore use for birth control?

A: A map of the United States.

Q: What is the difference between Hillary Clinton and a pit bull?

A: Lipstick.

Q: What is the difference between Hillary Clinton and a carp?

A: One is a scum-sucking bottom-feeding parasite, and the other is a fish.

Q: What is the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

A: A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Q: What is the difference between a Mercedes Dealer and a Jehovah's Witness?

A: One knocks on your door, the other talks to you from your front door.

Q: What is the difference between an oral contract and a marriage?

A: Oral contracts don't last as long.

Q: What is the difference between a southern Baptist female and a pit bull?

Q: What is the difference between a catfish and a woman with PMS?

A: One's an ugly, scum-sucking bottom-feeding parasite. The other is a fish.

Q: What is the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?

A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: What is the difference between a woman with PMS and a brick?

A: A brick doesn't follow you around after you've used it.

Q: What is the difference between a woman with PMS and a crocodile?

A: A crocodile doesn't sit there and cry after it's caught its prey.

Q: What is the difference between an intelligent Liberal and a disgusting Liberal?

A: The disgusting Liberal has a job.

Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

A: The location of the dirt bag.

Q: What is the difference between your wife and your job?

A: After five years your job will still suck.

Q: What do marriage and divorce have in common?

A: In both cases, you start with a diamond, and then it turns into crap!

Q: What do you call a bunch of Republicans gathered together?

A: A whine session.

Q: What do you call a bunch of Democrats gathered together?

A: A whine convention.

Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?

A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.

Q: If a blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who would die first?

A: The brunette...because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.

Q: What do you call a stupid Blonde?

A: A blonde moment.

Q: What do you call a smart Blonde?

A: A golden Retriever.

Q: What do you call a Blonde with a brain?

A: A rare find.

Q: What do you call a Blonde in a tree with a briefcase?

A: Branch Manager.

Q: What is the definition of a wet dream?

A: Something you get when you take a shower.

Q: What do you call a Blonde without an asshole?

A: An airtight.

Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster and a blond?

A: A golden retriever.

Q: What do you call a blonde with an attitude?

A: An overtime.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

A: Gifted.

Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

Q: What do you call a Blonde with an opinion?

A: A bloody women.

Q: What do you call a Blonde with an engineering degree?

A: A troubleshooter.

Q: What do you call a Blonde in a black leather jacket and boots?

A: A Fender Bender.

Q: What do you call a Blonde who is wearing a leather jacket?

A: A Collision.

Q: What do you call a Blonde with a moustache?

A: Heifer.

Q: What do you call a Blonde who doesn't send you nudes?

A: A liar.

Q:

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